I just love this: Vintage Photo

This photo was taken by the german photographer, Alfred Eistenstaedt, who worked for Life magazine. Apparently, he is most famous for taking this picture. The title of this photo though, is "Wide Range of Facial Expressions on Children at Puppet Show the Moment the Dragon is Slain."

I just love it.

I miss that.

Today, I miss the days when you could be sick and miss school. And work. And everything would still be okay.

Now my life demands money, and my future journalism program demands good grades. So, missing school and work is not an option anymore. Even when I wake up for 8 o'clock class and feel like a semi truck ran over my face and like I'd rather die than get out of bed. Now, a throbbing headache, a stuffed nose, and a dry-as-a-desert throat aren't a good enough excuse to miss out on anything.

And then again, these are the days when I remember that things could be a lot worse, and so I suck it up and get on with my college life.

When Summer Happens.

Today I am home. Home, as in Nampa, Idaho. I am sitting in the bed that I slept in for about 10 years growing up, in the freezing basement room I love, listening to "Life Goes On" by Noah and the Whale, and contemplating on the summer of 2012. Despite being a summer of many ups & downs, it was still one of the best summers of my life. So, in an effort to remember (being the sentimental fool that I am), I decided to create a list of summer 2012 "I did's". Not in the hope that the 5 people who actually read my blog will enjoy and comment on what I write, but rather for me to remember and count my blessings for all that happened this summer. After all, you're only have a summer when you're 20 once.

So, here it goes. This summer, I....

Went on several trips. To...

• Portland, Oregon (twice). Once for a friend's wedding, and once for helping a professor I work with with a workshop. I got to see the ever fabulous Holm family both times. That city is beautiful and full of weird quirks to keep it interesting. I'm glad that I have family there permanently (congrats to the bro on getting a GREAT job there) and thus a reason to visit frequently.

The nieces and me at Voodoo Donuts--a Portland legend. Also home to be best donuts I've ever had. 

• Excursioned with great friends to the deserts of Southern Utah for camping in Goblin Valley. I realized, or rather remembered, how much I despise excessive dry heat. 

• Went to Idaho Falls twice to see my beautiful sister's family. Unfortunately, I didn't take pictures either time. Just know that she has some of the cutest kids in the world. Each visit provided me with the love, support, and help I needed to face things happening in Provo. I couldn't ask for a better family! 
• Took the annual trip to the Nelson Family Farm for the ever great family reunion. It was great to see three of my siblings and their kids, along with our fantastic parents. I tried my hand at flower crown making for the first time, much to the delight of a very cute niece (see below.) 

• Enjoyed our immediate family reunion in Cascade, Idaho. I've said it a thousand times, but I have the best family ever. I love conversations with my siblings and their spouses because we all have the same humor and also share a strong testimony of the gospel. My nieces and nephews may be extremely loud when they're all together, but they remain my favorite kids on the planet. And, I have the best parents in the world too. I can't wait to one day add to the clan with my own husband and kids. 

So glad we've got each other for eternity.

• This summer I also went to California for the first time. This trip deserves a blog post in and of itself. It was nothing short of amazing. We went to Disneyland (my first time!), California Adventure, the Beach, Hollywood, and also made a stop in Vegas. I also got to see my wonderful Aunt Shanan and cousin Josh while we were there. The three days we spent there were a complete dream. I'll try to tell the story of our experience there through a few pictures:

A tight, but very fun car ride. Taryn, me, Jeff, and Troy. Chloe is the only one missing.

The ever-cliche Disneyland entrance picture.

Tower of Terror. My favorite ride of the trip. I look cheesy, but that is a look of pure joy on my face.

The beach. So perfect--I love the waves, the feeling of sand under my feet, even the smell. Remind me why I don't live near the ocean??

We ate at a Las Vegas buffet. I've never been so full, nor so torn between which desserts to eat in my entire life. I promise all those plates aren't ours...oh, wait, yes they are. 

This summer, I also:

• Grew (or rather, am growing) my hair out. The A-line is in my past for now, and I'm trying to see how long I can handle having long hair. So far, I'm mostly liking it, but I have a feeling I might go back to short soon.
• Changed my major. Between helping write our department's newsletter, talking to Spencer & Rachel, and a lot of prayer, I decided that I wanted to change my major back to Journalism. It will take me an extra year at BYU, but the decision to go back to writing, and specifically back to news writing, feels so right. And I am so excited to start back into Communications classes and to go back to doing something that I enjoy. 
• Went to a Bon Iver Concert. I've only been waiting to do that for years. Here's me and Emily enjoying our favorite indie artist live.

• Said goodbye to two of my very favorite friends ever. Kevin Garland and Merrilyn Johns. Counting them, I realized that I've said goodbye to seven of my very closest friends for missions in the last year. Good thing I'm getting good at holding down the fort in Provo...

• Had lots of good friends get married. I know this happens when you're my age, but it seemed like a lot of my friends got married this summer. And I couldn't be happier for each of them! 

Chloe, me, the beautiful bride Caitlin, Taryn, and Merrilyn

• Realized that I am a money-seeker. I jumped at every opportunity to earn money that I had this summer. I always tried to work 40 hours a week, but also found ways at both my jobs (Scrap-booking store and secretary) to earn extra money. This turned out to be a real blessing, as I was able to scrounge up exactly enough money to pay for my tuition, rent, and books, in addition to all of my living costs over the summer. That leads me to my next point about how I realized...
• That Heavenly Father's looking out for me. In so many areas of my life, from friends, to dating, to school, to work, to family, I can see the Lord's hand in directing me to where I need to go. This gives me confidence to face whatever's ahead of me in the future. And....speaking of the future....

This summer, I decided to go to LONDON next Spring. I've wanted to take this trip ever since I was a little girl and watched my sisters go to Europe during college. This is literally the trip that I've been waiting to take my entire life, and it's going to happen this year. I couldn't be more excited for the upcoming school year, and most especially for London. Here's to another adventure!

Spiritual Musings on a Sunday Afternoon.

So I'm realizing that I never post on here. Or take any pictures. Or update my Facebook page. The world probably thinks I'm non-existent due to the fact that I hardly ever post anything on the internet. However, somehow when I am studying a gospel topic or come across good quotes, I feel a draw to post them on here (meaning, my blog). I think it's because it's a place I can always come back to and remember what I was thinking while I was studying these topics. Maybe the few readers of my blog will find these spiritual insights I'm having of use.

Today, I've been studying the topic of covenants. Remembering what a covenant is, how it binds us to God, what the covenants I've made mean, and what covenants I'll make in my future. I came across an amazing talk by D. Todd Christofferson called "The Power of Covenants" (see here.)

1. When explaining our need for covenants he says, "What is the source of moral and spiritual power, and how do we obtain it? The source is God. Our access to that power is through our covenants with Him." He explains the definition of a covenant by saying:  "A covenant is an agreement between God and man, an accord whose terms are set by God. In these divine agreements, God binds Himself to sustain, sanctify, and exalt us in return for our commitment to serve Him and keep His commandments."

Thus, covenants are essential for accessing the power we need from God. The covenants we make on earth with God are intended to literally bind our souls to God--God agrees to help, strengthen, and exalt us, we agree to serve and obey him.

2. "Divine covenants make strong Christians. I urge each one to quality for and receive all the priesthood ordinances you can and then faithfully keep the promises you have made by covenant. In times of distress, let your covenants be paramount and let your obedience be exact. Then you can ask in faith, nothing wavering, according to your need, and God will answer. He will sustain you as you work and watch. In His own time and way, He will stretch forth his hand to you saying, "Here am I."


What I take away from all of this is that I have made covenants that bind my soul to God. God will strengthen me according to how devoted, obedient, and careful I am with these covenants. He will always do his part, but the challenge remains as to whether I will do mine.

I Stand All Amazed.

Today, I had an incredible experience in my New Testament class. It is a class that is surprisingly hard and I often struggle to feel like my teacher is teaching the gospel the way that it should be taught. However, today we had an incredible class on the Atonement. I learned more in this class period about the Atonement than I ever have before. It was incredible. I feel like I need to get my thoughts out of my head about it, and for some reason I've turned to my blog. This topic is pretty sacred, and I'm hesitant to post about it online. But then I remembered how the apostles have encouraged church members to share their testimonies via the interent, so that's what I'm going to do now. Here are my thoughts, feelings, and testimony of the Atonement of Jesus Christ, in light of what I was taught today by Brother Merrill in New Testament:

• The Atonement teaches us about the value of our soul. Jesus Christ suffered for each person that ever lived on the earth individually. He did not suffer for groups of people. Brother Merrill quoted an apostle (I think it was Elder Maxwell) who said that Christ didn't just suffer for our sins, he stepped into our shoes. He literally knew what I feel like when I feel lonely, offended, hurt, sick, afraid, and frustrated. He suffered for me as an individual, because of his infinite love for me. Brother Merrill said that we will be reminded of the moment Christ suffered for us on our judgement day.
• Another interesting thing I learned from this lesson is that the Garden of Gethsemane isn't actually a garden in the way we think of gardens. It was an orchard of olive trees, so really it doesn't make sense that we refer to it as a garden--until we think about the symbolism. The fall occurred in the Garden of Eden, and here everything went wrong. Because of this, things are being fixed and restored in the Garden of Gethsemane.
• The Atonement is infinite. He quoted another general authority here (can't remember who) that said: "The Atonement is not a human sacrifice, it’s an infinite and eternal sacrifice. It covers an infinite number of sins, an infinite number of people, and an infinite period of time. It was performed by an infinite being, who endured infinite suffering. He suffered enormity times infinity." Wow. I think our earthly minds can't comprehend the magnitude of what happened in the Garden of Eden.
• The scriptures tell us that Christ sweat drops of blood from every pore. It is estimated that there are between 10-15 million pores on the body. I think that this gives us a better understanding of the enormous pain Christ endured.
• Because of the Atonement, repentance is possible. Elder Maxwell taught about what repentance means by saying: "This means we are to change our thoughts and then our behavior until we are turned away from our sins and are aligned with God's commandments. This change of mind means that we are actually progressing toward what Paul called 'the mind of Christ'. Repentance is thus a continuing process in which each of us needs to draw on the Atonement for real relief, real forgiveness, and real progress." (Testifying of the Great and Glorious Atonement, Elder Neal A. Maxwell, from a MTC Broadcast in August 1999).
• As we remember the Atonement, we are reminded of Christ's suffering and love for us, and thus we can have his spirit with us. This might be what I love the most. I love knowing that I can have His spirit with me. I may be a small, earthly being who has very little to offer, but I have the privilege of getting to have His spirit with me in my life. The Spirit brings peace, understanding, calmness, happiness, contentment, and love into my life. It makes me more than I could ever be on my own, and reminds me of who I really am.

I want to wrap up my thoughts by saying that I know that Christ's Atonement is real. I know that He cares for each of us deeply, and that He knows us better than we think He does. I know that He suffered for my shortcomings, my pain, my sicknesses, my struggles, and my fears, as well as many other things. I know that He is deeply involved my life, and that he loves me with an infinite love that I can't even comprehend. I know that He lives, and that he suffered for every individual to ever occupy the earth.

Today, I am thankful that I went to religion class and came away with a greater testimony of the Atonement.

Musings on School. (Yes, this is a venting post.)

Tonight, I had a test. The very first of the semester. I studied hours for this test and felt sufficiently prepared going into it. The test was for my Human Development class, and consisted of 100 questions. I felt that, considering the large amounts of time I spent studying, I did the very best I possibly could have on this test. Yet, my score was only a B-.

I love BYU so much, but I really struggle with some aspects of my school. I cannot count how many times I have exited the Testing Center feeling like I did all I could do to study for a test, and feeling like I thoroughly knew the material, and yet walk out with a crappy score. I hate this feeling. Hate. It.

Tonight I came to the conclusion that for the most part, scores don't matter. I am learning and progressing no matter what. I am am doing my best to learn, study for, and take tests. So when professors come up with trickily worded questions, questions asking for things explained ONLY in the fine print of the textbook, or give ridiculously long tests, I don't need to blame myself for getting a mediocre score. As long as I am doing all that I can on my part, I don't have to get a 100% on their tricky tests.

I think that professors don't realize how impossible it is for students to fit everything into our schedules. It is literally impossible for me to:

-attend and be completely alert for each class everyday

-study 10 hours for EACH class every week

-work a part time job

-find time to socialize and date

-perform my calling

-find adequate time to work on my personal spiritual growth: scriptures, temple attendance, prayer, etc.

-have real meals

-relax/ have "me" time

-sleep.

I know juggling all of this is part of adult life, but sometimes it's rather frustrating. I'll be over it by tomorrow. But for now, this is me venting about school. Thanks for listening.

my new life motto.

Concerts.

It all started with Arcade Fire.

Then, Fleet Foxes.

And then last Thursday, Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeroes.

I've decided that summer concerts during college are the best things ever.

On my Mind.

Last Christmas break, I had a sudden urge to start a blog. I figured I would update it periodically and fairly regularly. Now, I've had it for almost six months and I have less than five posts. So, I'm going to try and get crackin' on more posts.

Tonight, I was looking at some of my various favorite blogs and I found a few pictures of things I absolutely love. Such as....

This wedding cake. I think it is absolutely adorable, elegant, and still fairly simple.

Also, I found these dresses at Shabby Apple that I'm in love with:

And this video on Youtube. It may be the cutest thing I've ever seen.

http://youtu.be/UGPL4J6IIJY