I Stand All Amazed.

Today, I had an incredible experience in my New Testament class. It is a class that is surprisingly hard and I often struggle to feel like my teacher is teaching the gospel the way that it should be taught. However, today we had an incredible class on the Atonement. I learned more in this class period about the Atonement than I ever have before. It was incredible. I feel like I need to get my thoughts out of my head about it, and for some reason I've turned to my blog. This topic is pretty sacred, and I'm hesitant to post about it online. But then I remembered how the apostles have encouraged church members to share their testimonies via the interent, so that's what I'm going to do now. Here are my thoughts, feelings, and testimony of the Atonement of Jesus Christ, in light of what I was taught today by Brother Merrill in New Testament:

• The Atonement teaches us about the value of our soul. Jesus Christ suffered for each person that ever lived on the earth individually. He did not suffer for groups of people. Brother Merrill quoted an apostle (I think it was Elder Maxwell) who said that Christ didn't just suffer for our sins, he stepped into our shoes. He literally knew what I feel like when I feel lonely, offended, hurt, sick, afraid, and frustrated. He suffered for me as an individual, because of his infinite love for me. Brother Merrill said that we will be reminded of the moment Christ suffered for us on our judgement day.
• Another interesting thing I learned from this lesson is that the Garden of Gethsemane isn't actually a garden in the way we think of gardens. It was an orchard of olive trees, so really it doesn't make sense that we refer to it as a garden--until we think about the symbolism. The fall occurred in the Garden of Eden, and here everything went wrong. Because of this, things are being fixed and restored in the Garden of Gethsemane.
• The Atonement is infinite. He quoted another general authority here (can't remember who) that said: "The Atonement is not a human sacrifice, it’s an infinite and eternal sacrifice. It covers an infinite number of sins, an infinite number of people, and an infinite period of time. It was performed by an infinite being, who endured infinite suffering. He suffered enormity times infinity." Wow. I think our earthly minds can't comprehend the magnitude of what happened in the Garden of Eden.
• The scriptures tell us that Christ sweat drops of blood from every pore. It is estimated that there are between 10-15 million pores on the body. I think that this gives us a better understanding of the enormous pain Christ endured.
• Because of the Atonement, repentance is possible. Elder Maxwell taught about what repentance means by saying: "This means we are to change our thoughts and then our behavior until we are turned away from our sins and are aligned with God's commandments. This change of mind means that we are actually progressing toward what Paul called 'the mind of Christ'. Repentance is thus a continuing process in which each of us needs to draw on the Atonement for real relief, real forgiveness, and real progress." (Testifying of the Great and Glorious Atonement, Elder Neal A. Maxwell, from a MTC Broadcast in August 1999).
• As we remember the Atonement, we are reminded of Christ's suffering and love for us, and thus we can have his spirit with us. This might be what I love the most. I love knowing that I can have His spirit with me. I may be a small, earthly being who has very little to offer, but I have the privilege of getting to have His spirit with me in my life. The Spirit brings peace, understanding, calmness, happiness, contentment, and love into my life. It makes me more than I could ever be on my own, and reminds me of who I really am.

I want to wrap up my thoughts by saying that I know that Christ's Atonement is real. I know that He cares for each of us deeply, and that He knows us better than we think He does. I know that He suffered for my shortcomings, my pain, my sicknesses, my struggles, and my fears, as well as many other things. I know that He is deeply involved my life, and that he loves me with an infinite love that I can't even comprehend. I know that He lives, and that he suffered for every individual to ever occupy the earth.

Today, I am thankful that I went to religion class and came away with a greater testimony of the Atonement.

Musings on School. (Yes, this is a venting post.)

Tonight, I had a test. The very first of the semester. I studied hours for this test and felt sufficiently prepared going into it. The test was for my Human Development class, and consisted of 100 questions. I felt that, considering the large amounts of time I spent studying, I did the very best I possibly could have on this test. Yet, my score was only a B-.

I love BYU so much, but I really struggle with some aspects of my school. I cannot count how many times I have exited the Testing Center feeling like I did all I could do to study for a test, and feeling like I thoroughly knew the material, and yet walk out with a crappy score. I hate this feeling. Hate. It.

Tonight I came to the conclusion that for the most part, scores don't matter. I am learning and progressing no matter what. I am am doing my best to learn, study for, and take tests. So when professors come up with trickily worded questions, questions asking for things explained ONLY in the fine print of the textbook, or give ridiculously long tests, I don't need to blame myself for getting a mediocre score. As long as I am doing all that I can on my part, I don't have to get a 100% on their tricky tests.

I think that professors don't realize how impossible it is for students to fit everything into our schedules. It is literally impossible for me to:

-attend and be completely alert for each class everyday

-study 10 hours for EACH class every week

-work a part time job

-find time to socialize and date

-perform my calling

-find adequate time to work on my personal spiritual growth: scriptures, temple attendance, prayer, etc.

-have real meals

-relax/ have "me" time

-sleep.

I know juggling all of this is part of adult life, but sometimes it's rather frustrating. I'll be over it by tomorrow. But for now, this is me venting about school. Thanks for listening.

my new life motto.

Concerts.

It all started with Arcade Fire.

Then, Fleet Foxes.

And then last Thursday, Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeroes.

I've decided that summer concerts during college are the best things ever.

On my Mind.

Last Christmas break, I had a sudden urge to start a blog. I figured I would update it periodically and fairly regularly. Now, I've had it for almost six months and I have less than five posts. So, I'm going to try and get crackin' on more posts.

Tonight, I was looking at some of my various favorite blogs and I found a few pictures of things I absolutely love. Such as....

This wedding cake. I think it is absolutely adorable, elegant, and still fairly simple.

Also, I found these dresses at Shabby Apple that I'm in love with:

And this video on Youtube. It may be the cutest thing I've ever seen.

http://youtu.be/UGPL4J6IIJY

College is Great!

I remember during high school having multiple people tell me, "College is great. Better than high school. You'll have the time of your life!" And I remember thinking, "My life is great right now, it can't get any better than this. I already have life figured out, and it can't get any better."

Oh, how wrong I was! This last year at BYU really has been the time of my life. I've loved being independent. I've loved learning more than I ever have before in classes. I've loved going to church strengthening my testimony each week. I've loved meeting wonderful new friends. I've loved having fun every day of the week. I've even loved the trials I've gone though--I know I'm a better person because of them. I've loved college!

Here's just a few of my favorite pictures from the last year:

Everyone needs a crazy college dress-up picture. This was one of the first nights I met these girls. What better way to bond than though hairspray, feathers, lipstick, and a camera?

BYU football and basketball games, of course.

Amazing Arcade Fire concert with some of my very favorite people: Kevin, Debra, Scott, and Dallin.

I'll never forget this crazy, hilarious trio. These three will make great missionaries, I'm sure.

I could never have gotten through my first year without this amazing girl as my best friend. I'm so glad we're now roommates.
Family picture on the last day with my favorite people. I love each of them!

Epic Weekend.

Party on Thursday.

Road trip to Logan with one of my favorite people.

<----- (Isn't she just adorable?)

Good conversation with new friends.
Good food.
Cleaning the sink at Angie's in Logan. (So, so much ice cream!)

Spiritual fireside. (By Katherine Nelson, actress in the Joseph Smith movie on Temple Square.)
Watching Wimbledon with Merrilyn and Tyler.
In and Out Saturday night burger run.
A hilarious game of Lap Tag with great company.
Hot tubbing late into the night.
Sleep.
Church.

=a memorable college weekend.

School.

School has started. This is a very good thing in my eyes. I am very eager to make a new start in my classes and learn a lot this semester. I'm REALLY looking forward to my Interior Design class (which fulfills a General requirement--hooray!), my Living Prophets class, and my Book of Mormon class...the others will be harder but I'm confident that I can tackle them. I've been blessed with really good professors this semester, which is a major plus. I can feel that life is about to get a lot busier, but I'm welcoming that. I'm ready to work hard this semester and to get better grades than I did last!

It feels so good to be back! :)