Thoughts on Womanhood & Mary.

In the last week, I've managed to end up at temple square three times--a treat I've never experienced so frequently during the Christmas season. Each time I visited, I was reminded of the nativity story and of Jesus Christ.

I mean, how could you not be touched by this display? 

As I've gone through my stressful, crazy last week of classes, I've pondered some about the powerful influence of Mary on her son, the beliefs of Christianity, and on the entire world. Of all the mothers and women in this world, I think Mary is one of the most powerful.

Bruce R. McConkie said:
"In my judgement, Mary is one of the greatest women who has ever lived on earth; the spirit daughter of God our Father, she was chosen to provide a body for his son, who was to be born after the manner of the flesh...I think we see Mary as a pattern of piety and submission to the will of the Lord which is the perfect example for all our women." (see here)

Isn't that powerful? And if that weren't enough, today during church, I came across this scripture:

"But Mary kept all these things and pondered them in her heart." 

(Luke 2:19) 

I love this scripture. It's probably one of my favorite verses in the nativity story--and maybe even in all of scripture. Mary, bearer and mother of the Lord, gave up everything she had to submit to the Lord's will. And not only that, but as she raised Christ, the Savior of the world. As she watched Him grow, she observed his wondrous qualities and pondered them in her heart. I see this quality as being very admirable: the ability to see amazing and wondrous things in her child, and to ponder them in her heart. She didn't shout from the rooftops about how she was raising the Savior of the world. She didn't try to brag about her son. She simply taught and observed Him, and knew that he was meant for great things. 

Even though I'm not a mother yet, and I likely won't be for quite awhile, I look to Mary as an example of pure love, dedication, obedience, kindness, and submission. I think of all the influential mothers and women I know, and I think Mary must have been a lot like them. When I become a mother, I hope and pray that I can be even just a little bit like her. 

 Sister Julie B. Beck said: 

"Latter-day Saint women should understand that no matter how many other people they enlist to help them with their home and children, they cannot delegate their role as the primary nurturer and teacher of their families. Righteous motherhood will always stretch every reserve they have to meet the needs of their families. As a daughter of God who has made covenants with Him, each of you carries the vital and indispensable female half of the responsibility for fulfilling the Lord's plan." 

I know a lot of girls who think women are suppressed within this church. But as I look at the example of Mary and read the words of Sister Beck, I can't help but think about how much power and influence we do have. Like she said, we carry the female half of the Lord's plan and he's counting on us to do our part. 

So on this December Sabbath day, I'm thankful for Mary and for inspired church leaders. I'm thankful for the ability to ponder on her example and their words. And most of all, I'm thankful for Jesus Christ and for the role that I know I play in His church. 

Merry Christmas, everyone. 

my thanksgiving break goals

include...

sleep. a lot.
eat my body weight in mom's homemade mashed potatoes, stuffing, turkey, rolls, and pie.
catch up on new girl, modern family, and parks and rec.
play my piano.
sleep in.
listen to lots of christmas music.
spend lots of time with the nieces and nephews.
sleep.
raid my parent's pantry.
play ticket to ride (at least 10 times).
beat spencer & rachel at ticket to ride.
get my family to play whacky 6 for the first time.
watch catching fire.
take a nap. or two. or three.
have good convos with the sibs and parents.
eat pie for breakfast.
finish making my book with pictures from europe.
sleep some more.
eat some more.

and NOT do homework. #suckitprofessors 

clearly, i'm a very ambitious person.

What I love.

(I don't post this to insult any of my friends, I just found it funny.)

Although I'm not one to post something I'm grateful for on Facebook every day in the month of November, today I had several random thoughts about things I love in my life:

Sunny November days

Gas station hot chocolate 

Laughing at Spencer and Chloe's ridiculous relationship (see here) 

Late night trips to Sonic (fat.)
Clean laundry

Writing intriguing news stories (stay tuned for a good one this week) 

Listening to Clair De Lune

New Girl
The recent discovery of We Bought a Zoo

Fruit loops (again, fat) 

The discovery of this song.

And lastly...

I'm thankful that I randomly ran into my good friend Patti Sadler today. She goes into the MTC TOMORROW and just happened to be on campus for a little bit. I was walking to the newsroom when she and I crossed paths at the perfect moment. I don't doubt that there was divine intervention in our running into each other. I had just been thinking that I was sad I never got to say goodbye, and then there she was. It was perfect. 

So thank you, Heavenly Father, for the simple delights that you put in my life daily.
I promise that they do not go un-pondered by this girl. 

Feeling homesick.

After a very busy and exhausting Monday, I sat down to get on Facebook for a few minutes today. Which turned into half an hour of looking at my pictures from Europe. And then my heart began to miss the streets of Ireland, Wales, England, and Scotland more than ever.

It's that kind of missing that you feel when your sister moves to Pittsburgh for 3 years. Or when your best friend leaves on a mission for 18 months. Or even when your sweet grandma passes away after a life of dedication.

I knew I loved those streets while I was there, but I never realized how much I would look back on my days spent there and yearn for them. I miss talking with old Irish men about their childhoods, I miss seeing eternal green rolling hills, I miss singing hymns with the African sisters in my London ward, I miss visiting the places I'd dreamt about my whole life.

What I'm getting at is that I think left a piece of my heart in the UK. I would always say that while I was there, but I think it really is true. There is a piece of my heart that will forever cherish the memories of walking through the streets of Paris eating a crepe, sitting in the park near St. Paul's cathedral and talking with my girls, dressing up at Jane Austen's house, and going to church in Scotland. 

I think one of my biggest challenges is learning to live in the moment--not focusing too much on the past on the past or the future and just enjoying the present. Because in reality, my life is good. Reaaaal good. I have so much to be thankful for and I truly am. But that doesn't change the fact that a piece of my heart stayed in the UK, and will likely stay there, forever. 

{big ben}

{jane austen's house}

{hampton court}

{stonehenge}

{the cliffs of moher}

{eiffel tower}

Dear men of BYU

My ride: "Alissa, did you serve a mission?"

Me: "No."

My ride: "Well are you going to serve a mission?"

Me: "No."
My ride: "Well are you getting married?"
Me: "No."

My ride: *laughs*, and then says, "Well what are you doing with your life?"

Hey, buddy. You may only have been home from your mission for 4 weeks, but I would expect you to know those probably aren't the questions you should be asking in a "getting-to-know-you" situation with a stranger. 

Don't get me wrong, I whole-heartedly respect and support missionaries. I have a strong testimony of missionary work and I do my best to be a member missionary, but you're missing the point. 

Here's the thing that 95% of you can't seem to understand: 

Missions aren't right for everyone.

Marriage isn't the only reason girls don't go on missions. 

It's not because we're any less spiritual. 

Some of us are just happy where we're at. 

We don't feel a pull to serve a mission because that's not always part of our role as women in this church.

So what am I doing with my life?

I'm living the gospel, educating myself, working hard, preparing for my future, and trying to weed out inconsiderate dweebs like you from my dating life. 

Progress.

There are times in my life where I know without a doubt that I have the spirit as my companion. 

It's a pretty amazing experience to know that you have the spirit with you and that it's guiding your thoughts, feelings, and actions. It makes life feel easier and it makes you feel stronger. I don't know how it works, but it does. Last week could have been a rough week, but instead I prayed for the spirit to be in my heart and make me stronger than I could be on my own. And then so many amazing things happened that made it the best week I've had in a very long time. 

What happened? Well, I felt complete spiritual confirmation that I am exactly where I am supposed to be right now. I'm not supposed to be on a mission, I'm supposed to be here in Provo. The spirit helped me realize that I was supposed to go on my study abroad, and my professor, Brother Gardner, was supposed to as well. We were supposed to meet, and he is now a major tool in helping me get where I want to go in life. I met with him last week and he was so eager to help me turn my dreams of working at church magazines into a reality. I left his office that day so full of excitement and feeling overwhelmed with the spirit. 

Similarly, I really feel like the spirit prompted me to write the story that I did for The Universe. One day, a guy I work with off-handedly mentioned to me that his wife's grandma had been to every BYU football game for the last 40 years. I thought that would be an awesome story, so I mentioned the idea to my editors. I ended up interviewing her and hearing her life story--which was entirely amazing. It was refining for me just to talk with her and hear about her life's struggles, her joys, and her accomplishments. She truly is an angel and I felt so uplifted after talking with her. 

Today, the article was published on the front page of BYU's newspaper and I had the privilege of bringing copies of the newspaper to her home. As she read the headline (92-year-old BYU fan still "loyal, strong and true") she smiled brightly and said, "That's just who I am!" I talked with her and her daughter for a little bit and they were overjoyed to see that their story was on the front page. I was already happy to be published, but seeing how happy they were about it completely made my happiness overflow. The reward of coming up with a story, interviewing her, writing it, and seeing it published is wonderful; but knowing that I helped a 92-year-old lady get the recognition she deserves and see her so happy was even better. 

I think a little bit of her heart and my heart went into that article. I needed to hear her story, and it needed to be told. I am just happy that I was privileged enough to be the one to tell it. 

Moral of the story: Heavenly Father is involved in every aspect of our lives, even especially when we don't realize it. Once we do realize his mighty influence, life is suddenly extra powerful and rewarding. 

I'm Alive.

Today I realized that I've cried more than normal in the last few weeks.
At first, I felt ashamed for crying so much and letting people see me in that vulnerable state.
And then I thought more about it, and I realized that I've been happier this month than I have been in a very long time.
And then I thought about it some more, and I realized that that's ok.

It's ok to cry.

It's ok to be emotional.

It's ok to care.

It's ok because it means I'm alive.

- - - - -

My reasons for crying: 

-- moving to a new ward from the best ward ever. But it's ok because I have the best roommates ever and the best friends ever in my old ward that I'll still see all the time. And I have faith in Heavenly Father's plans.

-- thinking about my Grandma Marene who passed away almost a year ago. Sundays at home are just not the same without her there.

-- explaining why I love and appreciate my mom so much during our family history night during the family reunion last week. 
-- holding my beautiful new niece and thinking about how she was with Heavenly Father just a few short weeks ago.

- - - - - 

I'm alive. 

With smiles, laughs, and tears, I'm alive. 

Scotland!

So I've been home for almost two weeks. A lot has happened in those two weeks, and somewhere in there I haven't found the time to write a post about Scotland. So, even though it's two weeks later, it's better to do it late than never, right?

Ok, we started out by arriving in Scotland by train from York. Going into the country, I was fighting sleep to stay awake and look at the beautiful landscape. I learned on this trip that when I'm tired and in a moving car/train/ferrry/bus/airplane it is almost impossible for me to keep my eyes open. Anyway, the landscape was stunningly beautiful--Scotland seemed to have more waterways (lakes, rivers, coasts) than all the other places we'd been to. I loved it.

So, the day we got to Edinburgh, we just wandered around and looked at the shops along the Royal Mile. The Royal Mile is the stretch of road that goes from the Queen's Palace of Holyrood up to Edinburgh Castle. There are so many shops, museums, churches, and pubs along this road--it's basically the heart of Edinburgh. There was also the summer "Fringe" festival going on--so there were tons of street musicians, vendors, and shows going on. Apparently Edinburgh is also much more crowded during the festival as well. This picture gives you a small taste of what old Edinburgh looks like with the new festival (the crowds hadn't come yet):

For our first day in the city, we went to Edinburgh Castle first thing, and I'm so glad that we did! It was probably one of my very favorite things about Edinburgh. The castle is unlike every other castle we went to on this trip--it had several different war museums inside, it had prisons, the Scottish crown jewels, royal apartments, and churches inside. There is so much to do there! I especially loved seeing the war museums. We were unable to see any other war museums in Europe (the London one was closed) and so I really loved seeing these ones. The military is such a huge part of Scotland's history too--so that made it even cooler.

Note...I was so sick of taking pictures that while we were in Scotland I didn't take very many...or even try to get very good ones. Yes, I know I'm lame. Sorry in advance.

The view of the city from Edinburgh Castle

10 points for when you notice what's different about this picture

Outside of the War Monument 

Edinburgh!

A plaque inside the war monument I loved. 

For the rest of that day, we went shopping around Edinbugh. I went a little crazy at Primark (the Forever 21 of the UK) and we made multiple stops at H&M. This was the most successful shopping I did on the trip. I found a dress at Primark that makes me feel like Audrey Hepburn when I wear it. I wore it to church today and I'm so in love with it! 

Anyway, the next day we were supposed to go to Aberdeen for a lecture on the Scottish language/ accent. This was really interesting because the man who gave our lecture had a really beautiful Scottish accent that was entertaining in and of itself. Initially, we were supposed to go up to Inverness to stay the night but it turned out that our hostel was booked for the wrong night, so we had to return to Edinburgh so we would have a place to sleep. This was kind of dramatic and disappointing for a lot of the people on our trip. I was definitely disappointed--mainly because it meant that we wouldn't get to see the countryside of Scotland other than being on the train. But in a situation like this, you really just have to make the best of it and not complain too much because that will just spoil everything. So we headed back to Edinburgh where there were still lots of things waiting to be discovered. 

On the train ride back, Bonnie and I happened to sit by some slightly drunk and hilarious Englishmen. This made their accents hard to understand but they were hilarious. They told us that we weren't American because we were too skinny, we hadn't seen American Pie, and we didn't drink. One of the 50 year old men talked to me specifically for awhile and I could tell that he was pretty drunk because his speech was really slurred and hard to understand. But at one point, he turned to me and started telling me how much I looked like his daughter. He whips out his phone and starts showing me pictures of a girl that I actually think looks nothing like me, and then he looks up at me and says, "You tall, beautiful, dark, lassie, you!" Needless to say, I was laughing pretty hard at the whole situation. 

The following day, started out by going on a free walking tour. The tour guide took us around all of the greatest spots in Edinburgh and showed us some really interesting spots. We saw the pub where JK Rowling wrote the first Harry Potter book, the tomb stones where she got some name inspirations (namely Tom Riddle and McGonagall) and the school supposedly inspired Hogwarts. We also learned about Edinburgh's famous dog named Bobby (a dog that was unfailingly faithful to his owner--to the point that he slept on his owner's grave for 5 years after he died). 

We then visited four museums: The People's Story Museum (a museum that tells the story of the people of Edinburgh through the ages), The Children's Museum (with children's toys from the last 400 years), The Museum of Edinburgh (Tells the story of the city), and the Writers Museum (tells about Robert Louis Stevenson, Sir Walter Scott, and Robert Burns). All of them were really small but completely free. I loved seeing these museums because they were all off the beaten path and so interesting. 

The pub where Rowling wrote her book

Tom Riddell's grave

Bobby's statue!

Aren't I a fine Holm?

Then, we headed back to get ready for our fancy banquet dinner that was paid for by the program. I loved the restaurant! It was called the Granary and had super delicious food. I didn't order haggis, but I tried some of Bonnie's and it was actually really delicious. It mostly tasted like meatloaf. And it had mashed potatoes on top which of course I loved. I ordered mushrooms with blue cheese on garlic bread (almost made me change my mind about hating mushrooms), steak (not as good as it is in America), and cheesecake for dessert. Afterward, we had fun taking silly pictures outside of the restaurant. 

Our last day in Scotland (and of our trip) was Sunday. Most people in our group were too tired physically and mentally to try to find the Edinburgh ward, which was ok. But Sarah, Bonnie, the Gardeners, and I ventured out Sunday morning to find the ward, and I am so glad that we did. It took several busses, getting lost many times, and getting directions from at least 5 people to find it, but eventually we did. The ward was surprisingly very American, but there were a few people I talked to that had thick Scottish accents. I loved visiting all of these wards in the UK because it really felt like coming home. A girl named Florina sat by me and we started talking about BYU and America and school and such. I found out that she's currently trying to get into BYUI and move to America, so we had a really fun chat. We talked for a really long time and became good friends. She and I now keep in touch and I'm so happy that I met her. She's my only remaining tie in Scotland, and I really hope that she can get into BYUI and come here! That day, we also visited the big museum in Scotland...and I can't remember the name of it. Oh well. They have the taxidermied clone sheep named Dolly there, so that was cool. Unfortunately I was pretty museum-ed out at this point so I struggled to really get into it.

That night, our group hiked Arthur's Seat. This was a major thing that I LOVED about Edinburgh. It's a massive hill with mini lochs and a trail up to the top of the mountain. When you get to the top, you can see on all sides around the mountain. There's fields and lakes on one side, and on the other the city and then the coast. It was stunningly beautiful and a wonderful way to say goodbye to Scotland. It made me thankful for all of God's beautiful creations and for the opportunity I've had to experience the other side of the world. 

The Queen's Palace of Holyrood (she only spends a few days here a year)

View from Arthur's Seat

Relishing my last moments in Scotland

My last sunset in the UK. Stunning.

My flight home was mostly uneventful--I did homework, watched Notting Hill, and slept a lot. I was able to adjust to the time change with almost no trouble! I was so happy to be reunited with all of my friends and roommates! I realized that I missed:

1. Outlets in the bathroom.

2. Top sheets.

3. My own shower.

4. In-n-out cheeseburgers.

5. My own bed.

6. Texting.

7. Calling my family whenever I want.

8. Not being a tourist.

9. Cooking my own food.

10. Being able to weigh myself (European chocolate was not good for me to experience...especially without a scale to keep me in check).

11. Driving.

12. Working (Yes, a major surprise to me too).

13. Mountains.

14. The dry air.

15. Not being constantly lost and confused about my surroundings. 

16. Using normal words. (No more chips, crisps, or trousers business). 

That being said, I already miss the UK. I know that I will go back again someday, and that I'll bring someone that I love. I've left a piece of my heart there, and I'll always cherish my memories there. Until then, I'm pretty happy to be back in America and living my college life again. :)

PS-Thanks to anyone who read my blog these last few months. It might have been boring a few times, but thanks for sticking with me to the end. 

Sentimentalities and Conclusions.

This year's been a wonderful year, especially in terms of travel. I started out exactly year ago at this time by visiting California for the first time. It was my first time at the Pacific Ocean, Disneyland and Hollywood. The trip was absolute perfection and I'm so happy I got to do it with these wonderful people:

Tower of Terror: Best Ride at Disneyland

And then I came back and moved into the best ward of my life. Had a great school year involving my favorite roommates, new friends all around, several road trips to Goblin Valley and St. George, loads of fun in Provo. I felt contentment with my major, happiness with who I am, and excitement about where I'm going in my life. Then, school ended and with it brought the ultimate college road trip: Hawaii. 

I don't know if I ever blogged about Hawaii, but we did so many fun things. We snorkeled, ate food from the Gods, spent many hours tanning & swimming in the ocean, cliff jumped, hiked like crazy, and became better friends than ever before. Making the decision to spend $250 on a plane ticket to get there was probably the best spontaneous decision I've ever made. 

Just when I thought summer couldn't get any better, I left for this study abroad. It was the most life changing, eye opening, and spiritual growing thing I've ever experienced. I met friends who changed me and influenced my thinking, I met professors who enlightened my mind, I met locals who broadened my views of humanity, and I met church members who inspired me to be more devoted. As I'm sitting here remembering my trip, my heart aches and yearns to go back. All my life, I hope I can cherish the memories of this trip and remember the six weeks where I fell in love with the UK.

On the beautiful coasts of Ireland

Our group in Wales

Visiting church history sites

Our lovely group at Stonehenge

Jane Austen's house

Our primary class!

Our grandma from our London ward, Emma. 

My main girls and myself at Stonehenge. 

All in all, this last year has easily been the best year of my life. I have met so many people that have changed who I am. I consider myself a lucky and blessed girl to be able to do all of these things and visit all of these wonderful places. I know that when I look back on my college years, I will count these experiences as some of the most influential and shaping experiences of my life.

PS...don't worry, I haven't forgotten to blog about Scotland. That post is coming next.