Who We Really Are.

This weekend, I went home for my grandmother's funeral. Her 81 years were filled with heartache and struggle. Her father died when she was three, her mother remarried a man who was verbally abusive, she went through two divorces, she suffered from Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, and she lived the last few years of her life in extreme loneliness and pain. She lived a unfair life, and for this reason, I believe that death was a blessing for her. I imagine her coming home to her Heavenly Father just a few short days ago, and I think she must have been happier than she had been in a very long time. I imagine her free from her crutches, free from her constant pain, free from her unfair loneliness, confidently facing her parted loved ones. Finally liberated from her past life, she may have thought, "Oh, this is who I really am." 

Whenever I go home, this time and every other time, I am filled with reminders of who I really am. Being away at school, completely on my own for months at a time, it is easy to loose my sense of who I really am. Being around my parents, siblings, nieces, and nephews, I am reminded of the person that I really am. I remember that am a daughter, a sister, and an aunt. I am reminded of the traits that I came to possess while growing up in Nampa, Idaho. When I was driving and talking in the car today with my parents, my mom teared up for a moment while talking about how I came to be a part of our family--that she waited for years for the daughter who would complete her family. While listening to her talk, I thought to myself, "Oh, this is who I really am." 

Because of a veil separating us from what we once knew, it's easy to forget who we really are. We try to make our way through life, we become confused, we worry, and we struggle. Part of the test we face while we are here is whether we will remember who we really are. We are sons and daughters of the most glorious being in the universe. We are experiencing a small piece of eternity--a piece we know as "life". We come to think that our Father in Heaven is distant and removed from our lives. But in all actuality, He is very close to us. He can be found in almost every part of our days. He's here, willing and able, to remind us of who we really are.

Driving down I-84 back to Provo tonight, I looked out across the passing cities and saw brightly lit temples dotting the completely dark landscape. The thought came to me that these really are bits of Heavenly Father's home scattered across the earth. I am so thankful that we can actually visit his homes here on earth, feel his spirit and influence, and have the thought cross our minds, "Oh, this is who I really am."